unbearable

Yesterday we were told our youngest kitty, Kiki, has cancer in her jaw, likely squamous cell carcinoma. It has ravaged her little jaw. The doctor did surgery to remove as much of the cancer as he could and we brought her home today, prepared to make life as comfortable as we can for what little time she has left.

So far tonight, I have snuggled, pet, brushed her. She ate some soft food, some treats and some boiled chicken. She has purred and "marched" (kneaded) and rubbed on me and Phil. She seems to be doing ok....

We just keep hoping our little genius kitty will make a miraculous recovery. I am cautiously optimistic. If any cat could do it, it would be her. She's amazing....
She's the only cat in our house to figure out the cat door to "her" room. She knows the wild ways of the outdoors (much to our disdain and once the cause of a sprained ankle for Phil). She's never met a visitor she didn't like and if you sit in a special spot on the sofa, she'd be happy to oblige you with a massage.

I wasn't able to walk through PetsMart without crying several times. Car rides are awful... quiet alone time to think about all the ways I already miss her.

I can't imagine this world without her.