Crash

In some respects it wasn't as fabulous as the crashes some of my friends have experienced. I didn't fracture my pelvis, I didn't hop back up and win a race, I didn't end up with a broken collar bone or severe facial laceration, I don't have tons of painful road rash (all badges of honor once you've been there). I hadn't actually had a crash since 1995.
This one WAS a good one in it's own way, though.

7/3/09:
We were about 30 miles in. It was around 12:30. We'd come from Maplewood, through Kirkwood, up Ballas to Clayton, to 109.
I remember crossing the tracks at Long Road, just off Wild Horse Creek. Tim was in front of me. Todd and Phil were further ahead, nearing the light to head into Ghisallo. I noticed a car, truck I think, behind me. Then I lost control, swerved like Joseba Beloki and POW, my rear tire blew off the rim. I vaguely remember a thought, "I'm gonna go down." I think I relaxed a little.

The next clear memory I have is in the ER at St Johns. A nurse is x-raying my wrist. I remember feeling really well rested, like I'd just taken a good nap. I don't remember too much pain.

There are pieces of memory....Asking Tim to look for my sunglasses lens (which likely cut me on my forehead), the blood running down the side of my face, a nice man talking to me, what I think was the EMT's strapping me into the gurney to go in the Ambulance.

I pieced together some more information later:
Apparently (according to Tim), I was able to get up after the crash. The man who was talking to me was a veterinarian, who was in a truck behind me. He stopped traffic, helped me up and I sat on the tailgate of his truck. He and Tim stopped the blood with Tim's glove and then some gauze he had in his truck. A women behind them called 911 - twice (I am not sure why she called twice). The ambulance arrived, while Tim was calling Michelle to have her meet us. I answered all the questions clearly, gave my name, spelled it and told them what happened. The EMTs were ready to let me go, to get to the Hospital with Michelle/Tim, until they asked me one more time..."What happened?" and I suddenly had no idea....


At this point, they loaded me up in the ambulance. Tim headed down to Ghisallo to tell Phil what happened. He tried to get Phil and Todd's attention after the accident but the traffic, wind and distance prevented them from hearing Tim's yells. Tim caught up with them and Phil came out to the road, just in time to see the ambulance going by. He attempted to flag them down but they were already taking me away and didn't stop for him. He ended up getting a ride to St. John's from Jim Valentine. Meanwhile, the nice Veterinarian had brought my bike to Ghisallo. Tim and Michelle took Todd and our bikes to St John's, got the key to our house, dropped off bikes, Todd and picked up clothing and Phil's car. They even moved my car around in the driveway. Tim and Michelle drove back to St. John's.

During that time, I was starting to become more alert, aware. Starting to realize how little I remembered up to that point. Apparently, I was asking a lot of questions, repeatedly. "Did I hit a bump?" "Is my bike ok?" "Is my helmet ok?" "Was I being nice to everyone?" Phil later told me how concerned he was by the repeated questions, but the Doc wasn't so concerned. Turns out this is common for a concussion.

I do remember having to pee and using the pop out toilet in the room. I also kind of remember getting an IV, but totally not being concerned about it (but thinking I SHOULD BE, as I am quite afraid of needles).

I had a Head CT (I remember going into the machine) and it was fine. The xray of my wrist was fine. They stitched up my head laceration, with only three (big, ugly, black) stitches. After monitoring me for a while, I was released around 4:30 or 5pm.

It amazes me how long it took for me to clear. I continue to ask Phil some of the same questions, but am remembering better when I last asked it and what his response was.

My hand/wrist is very sore and a large ugly bruise is forming. I have a small wound on the bottom of my palm. I have road rash in strange places - the TOPS of my knees, My Right Hip and waist and the inside of my right arm (crook of my elbow). My left arm is sore, apparently from the Tetanus shot I don't remember getting (but Phil assures me that I did).
I had a lot of dried blood in my hair. It was difficult to tell where the stitches were at first. My head is pretty sore, just above the laceration and my neck is very stiff and sore on the left side. My Hub Bib shorts were fine - just a little bit of scuff from the road but no holes or anything. My jersey has just a couple of spots of blood on it. My gloves are intact but have some tears and blood. My (BRAND NEW) Catlike helmet did it's job. It has a small area where the Styrofoam is smashed, right were my head hit the pavement. There's a good amount of blood on the straps near there and on the padding inside. The bike has a blown tube, which blew the tire off the rim, but otherwise it's fine. The hoods were pushed inward on both sides (?) but easily straightened out.

All in all, I am pretty lucky. It could have been much worse. The helmet I waited so long for was there to do what I needed it to do.
It's still a little frightening for me, when I think about how much stuff happened, that I was present and conscious for but don't remember at all. Phil has been so very patient and loving with me, allowing me to process in my own way and own time. He's encouraged me to get on the spin bike/trainer and been a little parental with me when I tried to say that I thought I could ride again before the Doc cleared me to (I can ride again on Wednesday, at the earliest).

I owe a HUGE amount of thanks to Tim, Michelle, Todd, the Vet, Jim Valentine, The EMT's, and all of the others who were there to help, call 911 or say silent prayers. And of course to Phil, for his continued love, support and nurturance, both when I am injured and well.

Why do I do this?

photo credit: D. Pate

One of my favorite Crits was Sunday. The Webster Groves Criterium. This year was extra special because I am on the Hub team. I started my day extra early by volunteering at Registration for 4 hours. On Saturday, I put my craftiness to good use (what little I have) to make signs for the kids races (They doubled as fans!). At noon, I changed into my kit and prepared to help with the kids races. I actually delegated well and got to sit down (or rather, was TOLD to sit down by Carrie) during the kids races. As a result of all of the morning standing/working, my legs felt heavy and leadened.

All morning, we were registering women for Cat 4 races and other women for a 1,2,3 race. At the line, we were told we'd race as "women's open." I didn't grasp what this would mean in the end. I still don't understand the nuances of this stuff, but I am learning. The more I learn, the more I don't like it. The more I have to evaluate WHY I do this. Turns out Women's Open means that for a Cat 4 women, no matter how well you do against your peers, you are judged against everyone, including some of the the best women racers in the area. I got 11th, out of 20 finishers. I felt good about my race but got dropped off of case group 1 (which ended up becoming chase 2) with about 8 laps to go. Looking at the results, I discovered that Alice (Hub team mate) was the first Cat 4 women across the line. I was the 2nd. That's awesome....however, no one cares (except me, and maybe Alice). Turns out that when there are two flyers, the one announced at the line rules. That was the one that didn't give a damn about Cat 4 women. No money or glory for us.
(I am realizing that I am MORE in it for the glory than anything). Ron (our Hub Team Director Sportif) was pleased with us and I am pleased for that!

Phil had a bad race. The first he actually pulled himself out of. Despite all the reasons he had for legitimately ending that race early, he was pretty rough on himself for several days. Processing this from the outside has also given me pause to consider more "WHY?"

Then I did the TNW. I had a blast. I struggled but hung on. I am feeling better each week as I dive into that turn two. Chris Clausen stayed in our race and gave pointers and encouragement throughout. I was fortunate to be the benefactor of this support several times. I lose it on the hill every time, but Chris encouraged me to make it to the top and hang on. I stayed with the lead pack (albeit at the back) til 2 to go. I even noticed that I was starting to pass Alice in the turn. She, of course, promptly passed me on the hill. That girl has Power! This is WHY. It's fun and although I swear I will actually throw up at some point during a race, I love the feeling I get when I push myself to the limit.

Then Wednesday came. For some stupid reason, I decided to look at the MOBAR standings. Why are the girls who catted up still listed on the Cat 4 standings, and still getting points for races since they catted up? Why are there NO points for Women's 4 for O'Fallon Grand Prix (I got 3rd!!) I emailed Mike, who emailed Craig. Craig proceeds to tell me that 1) "The Cat 4 racers who have upgraded will keep the points they have, but gain no further points. It seems reasonable that if a Cat 4 earns enough points to be MOBAR champion and then upgrades during the same season, they should still get the benefits of their points. Otherwise, you would have people sandbagging and refusing to upgrade until the end of the season." - This still makes no sense to me b/c they clearly have points listed for races that occurred after they catted up...
2)"The O’Fallon Grand Prix had Women Open run at 11:38 and Women 4 at 11:42. Since these races were run simultaneously and since the first was Women Open, the Cat 4s in Women Open got any points they earned and no points were awarded for racers in the Women 4 event. The thought here is to encourage racers to do the harder races (or at least not penalize them for doing so). We have this situation in other categories as well (typically if there’s a Men 1/2/3 race and a Men 3/4 race)." BUMMER! There's the Why question again....

I'm still working on the answer. I've come to realize that it's more dynamic that static. It changes, evolves, regresses and rejoices. Sometimes the answer to WHY is to belong to something bigger than myself. Sometimes I feel like I am truely a part of a special community, a family. Sometimes I feel like I am a step-child in this family (insert childhood issues here). After all, Someone once said "Women aren't the future of bike racing."

Winghaven 2009

photo credit: Dan Elavsky

I've never raced Winghaven. This year wasn't any different. I did, however, try something new...

Sunday June 21 was Phil's BIG 4-0! His race filled up quickly, without him. Instead of trying to race AND be the best wife ever, I opted for the later.
I put on a nice dress,loaded the car up with tent, chairs, cooler, cake and cookie and we headed off for a day of Spectating (with a Capital S!)

We barely made it in time for the first race. We wouldn't have made it if they hadn't started over 30 minutes late! Those poor guys had to stand in the sweltering heat forever. They all raced a good race though. We tried to stay cool as we watched the Masters take to the line. That was a great race too. Phil's new peer group (40+) didn't let the heat keep them from putting the hammer down. Jeff Kloha took 11th!

The excitement (and heat) continued to build as the women lined up. What a huge and strong field. In the end, "our" Chris gave an awesome show and won by what seemed like a mile. My amazing "coach" Jamie was 11th and my kick-ass team mate, Alice, took 13th (and some cash!).

Not long after the women's race started, Phil realized that the camera that was rented from Bad Dog Pictures to shoot the races from the media vehicle was on lock down at a corner. Phil found himself volunteering to shoot the Pro/1 race, but was quick to inform them that he has "eyes of a sound guy." To make sure everything was up to speed well before the Pro race, we loaded up in the Media vehicle with Jessi at the wheel for the 2/3 race. It took several laps before I figured out how to power up the "live anywhere" box that would feed the signal the the guys in the "control room." Once we were up and shooting, we took off on the course to catch the action. We pretty quickly realized that the best looking shots were stationary, from various vantage points around the course. We spent the rest of the race moving from point to point, to set up and catch the guys as they came around. There were some great spots along the back of the course that quickly became favorites.

Once we started to feel like we knew what we were doing, we took a break, ate a little and readied for the Pro race. I talked Dan Elavsky to join us to get some of the still shots he needed from around the course (see them here).

Pretty soon, we were standing in the median, to get the shot as the peleton split to go around us at the round-about. We found the perfect down hill shot and down hill into a turn shot. We found a few that didn't work so well too.
As the day and heat wore on, we discovered that we could hang out of the sunroof to capture what we wanted. Also,it was just fun to hang out of the sunroof.
Also, we forgave Jessi for texting while driving (Just watch out for her when you are on the roads in St. Louis).

After all of this, I was cooked. The cake/cookie were demolished. Tent, chairs and junk were torn down and loaded up. Chris collected her winnings on the podium as Phil and I drove off into the still raging hot sun...and promptly got lost in Winghaven.

Ste Gen. Road Race and Tues Night Worlds

Sometimes the best race happens when you least expect it. Unfortunately, it didn't happen for me on Sunday (6/14). The State Championship road race held in Ste Genevieve can be summed up in two words: Painful and Lonely. I got dropped at mile 7, the top of the first climb! I made it to the top, but couldn't hang on for the attack that I could see coming a mile away! Oh well. From then on it was mile after mile of chase. At first I could see the lead group in front. That group was quickly broken into lead and chase group, but I could still see both. Then I could only see the chase group. Pretty soon, I was chasing one girl in a red jersey. I'd get closer on the climbs and further on the flats or decents, but never caught her.

Susan and Christina passed me at a particularly painful moment. I had enough to get on a wheel, rest, pull a little and then I got back to the chase on a little hill. Right before the first official climb, Kate K. caught me. I jumped on her wheel and brought her attention to our "carrot" in red. We chased and caught her! but now we had to climb this hill. My guess was 6-7% grade. Steeper than Marshall, but shorter. I even commented, while I was still close to Kate, that I was glad to not have to chase down an attack on THIS! It wasn't long before I would have to chase, but it wasn't an attack; Kate is a good climber. She was gone too soon. I was lonely again! (Lesson learned: When we caught the girl in red, I noticed her number was for women's open. I even commented how I didn't have to worry about her b/c she was in the open race...I was wrong! She was given a wrong number. I should have passed her when I had the chance, but I let her go.)



The rest of the race was uneventful. Rolling hills, turtle, bigger hills, pain. I finished 8th out of 10 in the Cat 4 race. Since we raced with the Masters Women, I figure I'd be 14 of 19 overall (5 total behind me on the course). Not good but not bad. Not State Champ! (Way to go to Cristel, who IS the Missouri Road Race State Champ!!!)

That brings me to Tuesday....

I ate left over MnM's and Swedish fish all day, knowing that I would pay for the delicacies later. Sure enough, I felt sluggish by 4pm (Sugar crash!). I headed home, changed clothes and rode off the the Tues Night Worlds with Phil. I wanted (well, ok, half-wanted) to do the B race for a few laps but rolled up just as they were getting started. Darn! Jamie, Teresa and Allison were rockin' the B's while Phil and I registered for the C race. After registration, I found my fellow women C racers: Alice, Cory, Suzanne. We lined up and off we went....
Neutral lap felt nice, except for the blinding sunlight as we climbed the hill. On lap one, everyone was still settling in on how to take the turn. I drifted to the back and was fortunate to watch one guy take the turn too wide, hit the curb and do several graceful sommersaults into the grass. Yikes! That really freaked me out for the next couple laps. I even told Teresa about it as she and Jamie jumped in our race on the next lap.
I stayed in a conservative spot until Jamie suggested I get on her wheel and "Stay". She guided me around the course, put us in good spots, moved us up, helped me keep going when I started to fade on the hill, waited for me when I was ready to throw up and give up. It was my first ever in-race coaching and it was AWESOME.
I really fought hard to keep her wheel and lost it a couple of times, but made my way back to her. The race really picked up in the last 2 laps and we lost several places with 1 to go, but I finished strong and Jamie lead me out into the biggest Jelly-legged sprint I have ever done. I even set a new high HR for the year...176 (previously 173). NICE.
On the way home, I was on cloud nine and my legs felt good and strong. I could have raced all night....