Intention

I am so very full of good intentions.

While it may be excellent to some, I see it as a pitfall.
I consider myself to be a woman of my word. If I say I will do x, I do x. I try very hard not to portray myself as something I am not. I work very hard to avoid hipocracy.

Here's where the problem with good intentions lie. I view them as nothing. Without action, they are just words. Too easy to throw around, too easy to inflate someone or something without any substance to back it up. Actions speak louder than words.

So, my fullness of good intention is just hot air. Meaningless.

It doesn't matter that I thought of you on your birthday if I didn't call you, or email or at least post a comment on Facebook. I didn't go through the motions to get you that awesome, perfect gift and meet up with you to give it to you. It doesn't matter that I know where to get it and how perfect it would be for you.

It doesn't matter that I thought about eating better. That I thought over and over how hard I am working to let myself grow pudgy from sweets and junk, as I lifted the fork of chocolate cake to my lips.

It doesn't matter that at the start of this new year, I set out with an intention to write more. I can't change that it's been three weeks since my last blog.

I intend to start anew. Now lets see if I can back that up with some action.