writing the resolution

Thanks to a suggestion from Jessi, I bought the book Writing Down the Bones (Natalie Goldberg). Since 12/23, I've been writing more and practicing something from each of the chapter's I've read. Since my New Year's Resolution of sorts has been to write more and blog more, I've decided to post more of these writing exercises here.
To the 5 or 6 people who read this, I am sorry. This is primarily an exercise for myself, in a public forum to keep me honest.
I do welcome your feedback, comments, constructive criticism. If you have something mean to say, please keep it to yourself. (There are other blogs where you can freely post your meanness, or on Facebook!)

Here's what I wrote on 12/28/10. Keep in mind, I am a hormonal mess right now. So, I am not entirely responsible for the mess that spills from my mind to the pen and page. (or keyboard and screen).


I'm actually riding the trainer now. Sitting on it as I write. Thoughts turn over as legs turn over. I didn't want to do either today. Didn't want to do anything. Numb.
I'm not happy. There's a discontent in my head and heart. A sense of hopelessness.
Tomorrow will not bring what I long for. But I have no proof of that and I lumber on. Making useless, senseless circles. Joyless circles.
Going through the motions. I hope one of these processes will bring me somewhere. Riding, writing.
Somewhere, deep within me, a steadiness brings joy. I longed for the unknown and freeform that is the holidays but now It's the let down
So I move through what I should to toward what is known. Toward muscle memory for body and soul.

And the days go by....

Boy am I a lazy blogger!?! But I promise I've been a busy girl!

I admire my friend Suzanne's blog and her recent 365 challenge (which she is keeping up with smashingly, by the way). I keep thinking that one of these days I should start a 365 project to keep me motivated to write more of this stuff. (I keep thinking that by writing more, my thoughts will become more focused, streamlined and, well..., interesting!)

But I spend my time doing so many other things instead... AND The days just fly by.

I am blessed with a good job that keeps me active and keeps my brain stimulated. Most days I grab lunch while typing... but I am also thankful for the down time this job affords me. Usually I am spending this down time working on Team Revolution stuff or catching up on educational websites
When I am not seated in a cubicle (yes, I have a Master's degree and I sit in a cubicle. I left my office with beautiful floor to ceiling windows and heavy wooden doors for a $20,000 pay increase!) I am seated on a bike, somewhere....

My coach has given me a 5-6 workout/week schedule, with Monday and Fridays usually rest days. Weight lifting/stretching occupy my time on Weds & Sat and Tues, Thurs, Sat, Sunday I am on the bike. Time ticks by as I spin the pedals. Fortunately I have some intervals, and now cold weather, mixed in there to keep things interesting.

Sundays are often long rides. So far the weather has been kind and accomodating; however, last Sunday I was grateful the long ride was only 2 hours (rest week!).
I headed over to Suzanne's house and suited up with Kate, Jamie and Suzanne. 28.4 degrees at our start. The wind and lack of sunshine made it even more interesting.

My biggest motivation to ride this Sunday was actually the cold. I will continue to ride throughout the winter. Last year the lowest temp I rode in was 11 degrees (with some sun!). I have found that if I keep riding, at gradually lower and lower temperatures, when I get to 11, it doesn't seem so shocking. But if I miss a series of 30, 25, 20 degree rides, 11 just seems unbearable.



So, I am sure I'll continue to be busy...working, riding, working, riding. I'll get around to blog whenever I can. Maybe, just maybe, I incorporate more writing in my new years resolution!