Holiday Blahs

I jumped into 2010 training with both wheels and didn't look back...until now.
I've been training 6 days a week for almost 14 weeks. I only took time off for our trip to NYC and ended up walking miles and miles and miles. I was cruising through the sweat, the pain, the spinning and stomping and sprinting and lifting and sweating and sweating...
I could feel it creaping up on me last week but I think the excitement of Christmas kept the forward momentum. Then BAM!, I feel like I am down for the count.

So, I took another day off. The first week with TWO days off in a long, long time. On Sunday I was scheduled to do 2:30 but weasled it down to 2, then 1:30 then 1, then "oops, it's too late to do anything today!"
In ten minutes I hope to leave work and get back on the horse,in the form of a spin bike at the gym. We'll see how that goes. I hope my car will just find it's way there on auto pilot. I packed my gym bag that way. (I wonder what I'll be wearing?!)

I have no motivation. I want to eat junk, in sweat pants, in front of the TV. I don't even really have motivation to watch the TV. Just sit in front of it and eat. My mind has been helping the self sabotage by questioning "why?"
Usually, my self-talk answer would be "Why not?"- it is the title of my blog, after all. Now, it's a Whiny response that really makes no sense. But I can tell that my mental picture is all wrong. I don't see myself as getting stronger, faster, leaner, etc. I see more sweat pants and junk. I see myself off the back, ALOT. OTB at races AND group rides. why bother?

Ugh.

I know it's a phase. I know I'll find motivation again. But for now... what have you go to eat? and hand me those sweat pants!

Happy new year!

Half Cat, Double Latte..

With 2010 just around the corner, I decided to submit my request to Cat up from a 4 to a 3. I wasn't sure how long the process would take. I have to say, I was a little intimiated by the requirement for a "race resume" on the USACycling site. Hmmm...

Objective: To participate in St Louis area Cat 1,2,3 races where I promptly get my ass handed to me with the word "go".

I went ahead with it, basically pasting my race results and a summary and clicked Cat 3 for Road. I also (somehow) justified Cat 3 for Track, not that it matters. Click submit and wait...
Little did I know that somewhere in U. City, Mike Weiss was sent my request, which he promptly approved, in less than 24 hours! Or so I thought....

It turns out, upon closer inspection, that I am now a Cat 3 Track Racer, with a pending approval for my Cat 3 Road request. I'm in the middle. I guess I should embrace it. Once I start racing as a 3, I'll be nothing but off the back!

I know Mike will get to it. I'm in no hurry and only need approval sometime before 12/31/09, so I don't have to pay for a Cat 4 license and a Cat 3 license. Still, I want to celebrate a FULL category upgrade before I actually have to put the license to good use.

Speaking of use... I registered for the Hwy 64 time trial on 12/6. Did you? No? Well, you'd better do it soon. Only 300 spots and they are sure to fill up soon.
Last year, for the other 1/2 of the hwy, there were all sorts of riders/racers. I saw ladies with christmas lights, Santa, a guy in blue jeans, and the blur of some seriously fast guys as they passed me by.
Oh, and I registered as a 3....Oops! Make that Half Cat >^..^<

Why don't you write?

I've been hit by the lazy blogger disease again. This time it kept me away for 2 1/2 months. It's not that I haven't had exciting things to report, or I haven't done anything interesting.... I just didn't care to tell you (ie no one) about it.

I guess I have some blog envy. My friends post updates and they get read and responded to immediately! I, on the otherhand, am lucky to get one response. I don't even think my mother reads this any more.

But then I realize that I don't do this for the attention. I do it for the process of writing, journaling, capturing a thought, mood, feeling, event, etc.

The theme of today, or rather the last few days, in inadequacy.
I have not been feeling like I am living up to my potential. I have been short tempered, judgemental and self conscious. While I am sure these are feelings we all go through from time to time, it makes me dislike
me none-the-less.

My goal for the next two weeks is to "Buck Up Buttercup" and start smiling more. I really have no good reason to be such a sour puss.
Here's to happiness...

(On a cycling related note, I had a GREAT Ride with Todd, Kube, Judy, Chris & The rest of the Hub crew last night! I can't wait till next week and may even dust off the Filmore for a single minded kind of ride!)

Winning isn't everything....

But Team work is!!!!

Kate and I traveled (with Soigneurs Mike and Phil) to Sedalia on 8/29 for the 2009 Sedalia Criterium on Saturday and the Otterville Road Race on Sunday.
We almost made it to Sedalia without incident, except for the fact that Phil and I were drinking lots of water to "hydrate" and we got a little lost. Our little country road turn around was also a porta-potty. We were laughing so hard when we saw through the weeds that Kate and Mike were turning around and appeared to be driving toward our "private" bathroom....we nearly peed on ourselves!

Sedalia is an adorable town. Each couple had booked "1927 Luxury Suites" at the Hotel Bothwell. We quickly unloaded our stuff, registered and set off to warm up.

Kate had posted a message on facebook earlier in the week that she was motivated to
win one in honor of her sister. We warmed up on "Highway" 50, and the streets around the Jail and "Meth collection mobile unit" to the smell of burning tires, from the motorcycle peel-out festival, and discussed our strategy. As far as we know, there would be the two of us, Stacie and a new racer, Mandy. We figured we could attack and work together to get a break. Since our race was short, only 20 min +5, we could attack pretty early.

When it was time to roll to the line, we discovered that we had atleast 5 girls in our race, including Emily from SKC. We heard Emily tell Mandy that she had won her first race but had just had a baby, so wasn't really back to racing form. Kate and I foolishly discounted both Mandy and Emily's abilities.

We did dominate the Crit from the start. I pulled for a couple of laps, Kate pulled, I pulled and when Mandy offered to pull, Kate attacked. I tried to go with her, to keep with our plan of the two girl breakaway, but Emily was right there with us. I felt bad about dropping Mandy like that, but not to worry! Mandy should not be underestimated either. She was right back with us in a lap or so.

I quickly learned on the first prime lap ($10), that Emily still had a good sprint, but I was able to beat her to the line and scored the prime. She ended up getting the second one and almost succeeded geeting off the front. It took us 3/4 of a lap to reel her back in. The course was technical, with 5 right hand turns and a right (an L shape) and there were TONS of bumps, manhole covers and pot holes (all marked with yellow paint). We had to be extra cautious about our lines all the time.

Team Hub continued to dominate and Kate and I both got the pleasure of hearing our names butchered by Aero over the PA! Unfortunately, Kate pulled too long and as we were headed in to 3 to go, 2 to go and 1 to go, she was still on the front! I was trying to get her to sit back in but she was nervous about going off the back. SHe did keep the pace high and started to recede in the second to last turn. At that moment, I saw both Emily and Mandy move into position for the final turn/sprint. They went left, I went right and gained a position on them on the last straight, getting to the last turn first! I sprinted the best I could and ended up winning!~

It was bitter sweet because I really wanted Kate to have the win, but wasn't going to give it up to anyone other than her. We got a good chunk of change, some wine, free beer and GLORY to saver for the rest of the night.

Kate's day would come at the Road Race.

It was a cold morning but by 10 am, when we started, it warmed nicely. We had 9 ladies and due to only one wheel truck and one pace, we were instructed to work with the juniors. I quickly realized that I didn't have a working computer. We must have been in some computer eating vortex because several other computers were shooting craps too.
We also quickly realized that the boys talk too much! We were relieved to have them pass and continue down the road.

We attacked the rollers, with Kate and I on the front more than we should be. We'd make note, and slip back for some protection but find ourselves on the front again at the next hill. Kate had some great acceleration on the downhills and would almost immediately pass everyone. I'd try to latch on (I guess secretly hoping we'd get a gap on the others).

The hills kept coming. They weren't terrible but they were many. Then, there was one hill that Kate descended and I didn't latch on. I was on the front and watched a small gap between us quickly grow. I didn't react. Actually, I think I might have held my breath...No one else reacted. She just rode off down the road.

I then started to pay attention to my pulls. My computer wasn't working, so I don't know how much I slowed, but I definately did.
When we reached hills, I would pull us up, or move back and let one of the triathletes pull us (not as strong on the hills as they are on the flats).
Kate was GONE!

There were a few times when we came within sight of her again. I got a little nervous and moved to pull again, to slow us down. I was confident she was home free when the next mileage check revealed we were only 4 miles from the finish! At that point, one of the ladies commented "Is that your team mate up there?" Doh! "Um, yes..." .

I just had to get my butt across the line now. I knew we'd have to climb the feed zone hill first.
That hill was L..O..N...G....
I so badly wanted to turn off early. As we neared the turn, my legs were on fire. Mandy and Ann moved to the left, taking the turn a little shallow. I was worried as I knew I had NOTHING left. Mandy stayed in front of me but Ann was as spent as I was. I was able to make it to the line second of our group, third overall. Time to celebrate with Kate!!! She got her win for Mary!